Composed this poem on the way home while in the train. As usual, in 5 mins.

That Day

that day I finally
told you how
I felt
after so long

you were my first
but hopefully not
my last
to love like that

one day I will
find that someone
right for
my aching heart

til then I guess
I'll just need
to keep
hoping, waiting, praying

Updates

Thursday:

Learned a $6.40 lesson: never put your admin card in your bag. If not it'll get cracked very bad. And then having to tell the lecturers that my card was damaged every lecture was a pain.

Friday:

My dad lost his handphone to a pickpocket. He had it in the front pocket of his jeans, by the time he realised it was missing it was too late.

Sunday:

Happy b-day to my paternal grandma! The whole troop of us (family, cousins, babes in arms) went down to a nearby coffeeshop for a feast :) We had butter prawns, scallop with braised kailan, claypot stew, steamed fish, longevity noodles, and longan for dessert. And yeah, since my cousin's got a baby girl, that makes her my niece, and me her aunt o_0 I'm old T_T

Above: My grandma in the middle, surrounded by my relatives. My little bro is the one in orange shirt.



Sunshine gal at 4 months old currently. Smile! =)



My mum in green shirt, carrying my little niece, Quinny. Behind them is my cousin, Quinny's mum.

Did something today that took me years to come to terms with. But, despite knowing the outcome, I'm glad I got it off my chest.

I will not lie and say that I'm over this. It takes time. Time to forget, time to heal. And, time to move on.

I've got my closure. I hope in the days to come I will find that someone for me. Meanwhile, grant me the strength to continue my life.

Most of all, I thank you, for being honest with me. For not erasing our friendship. Arigato.

Cute little furry mammal ..

.. today, I'm going to introduce you all to a cute lil squirrel that appeared in Naruto Episode 31 =)
If you don't know the characters I'm talking about, go watch the anime or read the manga yourself.

















This little squirrel was happily munching on nuts .

















When Sakura threw a kunai (dagger used by ninja) at it, to stop it from running into a trap she set for her enemy .

















Later someone attached an exploding trap to it, and set the poor thing on fire ..

















Then Rock Lee came and rescued the crying mammal ..

















Squirrel perched on his shoulder ..

















A close up of the squirrel before it leaves .. (don't mind Lee, I know he's hideous)

















Saved! The end.

Everyone, lets boycott ..

the school filter! The poxy thing blocks Youtube, imeem, crunchyroll and other stuff that's too much to count. INCLUDING GE CLIENT. *takes a deep breath*

Of course I didn't just find this out, but anyway, its a NUISANCE when you want to watch a few vidoes in school, just to chill out. Like me, chasing Naruto episodes for example. Its a BOTHER when you want to listen to music off the net. Thank god for project********. Its beyond words, how annoying it is. Lets BOYCOTT it! If I knew how to hack , that's the first thing I'm gonna do. Screw up the system so bad it allows everything that was previously blocked. Mwuahaha.

Oooh, and I gotta love the support that flows through msn. I was searching for 2 songs that I wanted, Purple Snow and Andalusian Rhapsody, and since I already uninstalled Limewire .. I wanted a legal download. And people I added centuries ago (I really can't recall, from EL I think) ask me, "Is that the GE OST you're looking for?" (they saw my msn nick) And I go "Yeah, do you have it? If you do I love you! If you don't I hate you." Just kidding, but you get my drift.

And then, wonders of all wonders. Mid/late afternoon, guess who came online? Teh super duper Mr Search Engine Abuser. (mwah) Ben, said "I have the OST". I'm like stupefied. All I get are dead links! Or links that lead to real player, and I need to get Real Player PRO to dwld it. T_T So how did he get those?

He answered: "Google." Specifically, torrents. *!! omg ..* (I'm a loyal Yahoo fan) Why didn't I think of it .. nvm. To cut things short, he found all teh music I needed. Which makes me very happy. And also very in his debt :D My treat next time, perhaps ^_^

For sch today .. I'll just say that Ms Loh is a kan-cheong spider. And that as usual (on a daily basis), I had something chocolatey =)

I'll just leave you all this playlist for your enjoyment =)

I fell in love ..

.. with Naruto!

Yep, my sis got me hooked on the anime so I've been watching them while waiting for Bleach 144 to come out .. I'm up to eps 18 now =) gonna try to catch up to her. Story wise, I prefer Bleach more, but this anime about ninjas is not too bad. Its funny, serious, all in all a bunch of fun.

Oh yeah, and I <3 Kakashi, he's gorgeous =)

And since I like this OST the best, I'm gonna put it as my theme :D

Ta for now.

My disk drive got corrupted T_T .. am hunting up and down for the installation cd .. eek! No wonder cannot read any cd I put in ..

Sch today was .. cold as usual, lousy weather - raining again WHY RAIN!!!

On the good side, I finished my report for the IT project thingy, but I need to do the ppt slides hoho .. then tmr dunno confirmed going with Jean to do her tattoo .. have quite a few tutorials to do for the following week.

I got pked by some 12x Family today. I'm only 8x lor .. bully .. I nvr ks or take his spot sia .. sian dio .. next time I shall own him man. chao hum chin peng :( Then dio rape by Forgotten Champ in Ustiur, I think somebody summoned spinelle, all of a sudden OHKO .. today is lousy day .. bah

Yet another change

My previous black skin was bugged, so some of the navs couldn't be clicked unless the page was refreshed .. I'm going to try this out for a while.

Swamped sch wise. Projects rolling our way, and did I mention I hate my kuku timetable? Trying to do my econs tut T_T and my 2604 tut for tmr .. meanwhile for the IT project I'm supposed to research on Intel. Hallelujah.

And this is the @$&!#% msg I get trying to submit work thru CMS:

General Failure Exception com.niit.cliks.control.common. GeneralFailureException: te_SQLException

I give up for the bloody submission.

Desktop is fixed, so my sis is back to choping it. No more hogging of my laptop. And because she used all my accounts (6 in total) and my bro's (3) Neopets accounts to trade items while under a diff email, all 13 accounts of ours got frozen. I was like wtf. But affect her more, lah. So now she no more Neopets to play, she play pkm ruby =.= and found Feebas T_T

Oh, and the rainy days. I freeze! I want to box whoever's decided to make the week dreary.

Back to work.

More creations

Our avatar now looks like this:



Its simple and nice, I found it on deviantart, then just added the words. There's a lot of nice angel style pics there too. Jean was telling me she was gonna make a tattoo on her collarbone, I said on the back was better, then she said "actually hip nice also hor"

I was like, wah, one tattoo not enough. Going to accompany her on Saturday =x I think I'll be the squeamish one there lols. We're still looking for nice angel wing tattoo designs on the net, because she hasn't decided yet.

I uninstalled my mp3 uploading program by accident, then my disk drive is a bit sort sort, so now I can only listen to the older songs on my mp3 zzz

3 hrs break drives me outta my mind, haiz ..

Yes, school started today. Woke at 6 in the morning to meet the girls so we could buy our materials early. Not much people were at the printing shop so the queue moved quite fast. Proceeded to Biz side, spent a total of about $41 on all the materials; but I've decided I'm not going to get a new book for economics; to save costs.

Met Ms Kua, our temp CC today, she's quite a straight to the point lady if you get my drift. Signed a form that stated I had to maintain 95% attendance in all my 8 modules and a 50% pass in quizes and tests in order to do all 8. Not a bad tradeoff, but just looking the new timetable gives me a headache. I don't know how to cope with 8 modules at a go.

Then, came grouping time for our IT Innovation Project. I hate it, because invariably I'll end up cast adrift from the rest. Not that I mind, but setting conditions? Pfft. I suppose I should consider myself lucky that I have a group T_T

Anyways, as you can see from the new blogskin, I've decided to go the way of the emo. Black is my new colour now, for a while anyway. Also done by the same person who did the blue umbrella guy skin.

*song is stuck in my head*

Ms Kua, our temporary CC, called me today. She asked me if I wanted to take up 8 modules this semester, or take 7 but stay back 1/2 a semester and graduate later; or spread out 7 this sem, then 4 the next, and 4 after attachment .. she told me that if I wanted to take 8 (coz I failed Econs) the school would monitor my performance, if I was struggling with all my modules, they could take the extra one away from me. I told her I'm going to try to do 8 this semester .. I want to graduate with my friends, not alone with strangers ..

My timetable is very kuku, got 3 hrs break de hoho .. but that will change once the director approves of me taking 8 modules ..

GE wise, I think I musta been born to do siggies, check em out:






They are the same, but I played around with the hue and saturation .. and here's another:

Sch's starting! Eek, the horrors!

Can I make it to vet before that ..

Going on Biz track hoho .. I've a feeling I'm gonna be flailing in 2nd sem.

Ah well, ta for now.

In the end, we didn't celebrate my mum's b-day at all, as she, my dad and brother were down with cough. Nothing much happened this few weeks, rather uneventful really.

Got my craving for brownie satisfied yesterday, when she bought one home from Megabytes. The quality is better than the one at school, more nuts on top and drizzles of chocolate sauce; but for $2.20 for a triangular slice .. as compared to the one at school, with lesser toppings, but with ice cream and its a nice square size .. I'll leave you to it.

Have been very, and I mean extremely out of sync lately. For no reason I'd take out old photo albums and flip through them with no aim in mind. X Japan soothes my mind now more than those pop/r&b tracks ever could. Not even Josh Groban songs, which I love, help much. If I were to utter out loud the thoughts that go through my head, most probably I'd be admitted to TTSH asap.

Mooncakes festival went by, did any of you celebrate it? My mum bought the annual snow skin mooncakes, with lotus seed filing. Next year maybe we'll go for green tea instead.

Bored outta my mind now, gonna say ciao.

They say a picture says a thousand words, there you go, my results for the current semester:


Woke up this morning and was told by Celeste results were out. I passed. omg. I actually passed. Crying a bit now haha, thought I would fail mgmt .. Absolute relief. I can't say how much better I feel, knowing that I can graduate together with the lot of them and not be retained for a year .. Whoever's watching over me from above, thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!

Now I can sleep better. Looking forward to celebrating Mum's b-day on Sat (actual was on Mon). We're planning to take the whole family out to Seoul Garden, need to check the price later
, but for now, I'm going to give her a call.

Ending off with this song, Someone's Watching Over Me by Hillary Duff

Found myself today
Oh I found myself and ran away
Something pulled me back
The voice of reason I forgot I had
All I know is you're not here to say
What you always used to say
But it's written in the sky tonight

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me

It doesn't matter what people say
And it doesn't matter how long it takes
Believe in yourself and you'll fly high
And it only matters how true you are
Be true to yourself and follow your heart

I feel like a slave. No doubt I'm at home, being unemployed, but my mum is about making me hit my limit.

Endless grousing from her as we do Excel charts and word reports, for her work. I'm about going bonkers from staring at the screen. Swearing off Excel for good today.

I HATE EXCEL @%!#@$(*OMFGBBQ@$(^TU^

On GE, I'm going to dino land Ustiur soon~ Can't wait to hit lvl75. Meanwhile grinding with my Faction DefendeRz mates in Rion Hollow and Prison. We did a couple of Highway/Interchange/Trinity 3 yesterday, they were soo fun! Not to mention I got lucky and got Chain Lightning Ring lala~

And Plait, for female scout. Been taking my dear Cath out to train, can't wait for her to go solo, but then I'll have to pot like mad.

Back to Excel, ta!

Went with my mum to her office today to help finish her report, left the house about 11am. Alighted at Bonavista MRT station, and took bus 95 to Science canteen at NUS, but Mega bytes, the new cafe there wasn't open =(

Hopes for a nice lunch (and brownie) dashed, we walked all the way up to YIH, but the canteen there was closed; only Subway and Cheers was open. Braved the long queue, and ordered a-foot-long honey oats subs with bacon, turkey and ham, and 2 double chocolate chip cookies as compensation for the brownie :D

Was literally starving by the time I reached my mum's office .. Mowed my way through my half of the subs, simply closed my eyes and ate the tomato, olive and cucumber ><, then started on the report at 1pm.

Ended about 6 plus pm, after several times of editing/saving .. my mum's Excel files couldn't open on my laptop (some data was so damaged the file was auto-repaired), and my desktop computer is chucking fits again, so we had back-ups on her email and desktop.

God, I swear I do NOT, ever, want to see Excel again. Uggh.

Rushed home to catch the Chinese Emperor show on Channel U, only missed 5 mins~

Off to play GE now, ta!

lil' misadventure

Had a tiff of sorts with my mum on Sunday morning. Usual jazz about finding gainful employment and such. So, wasn't very happy at all.

Decided to head down to Parklane to play GE, hopefully to get it off my mind. Simply told her I was going out to a friend's place and wouldn't be back til morning. Reached there about 4 plus, and played til about 12.30pm. By that time I was starting to get tired, but I didn't want to go home. Anything to just not have to face her.

Then I left the place wondering where I would go, since I didn't have enough cash on hand to get a cab home, and no trains to be had for love or money. Contemplated just walking the streets til morning, and get a train home .. while at Parklane the idea of going home had been repulsive to me. Since I was already outside there wasn't any point in going home. Yet, walking the streets wasn't very appealing to me. By then all I wanted was to go home. I was cold, hungry, and tired. I forgot how many street lamps I must have passed yesterday.

Walked past cabs at the kerb, past bus stops .. with nowhere to go I ended up walking, (yes, I walked) after asking directions from my GE mates all the way to Cineleisure near The Hereen, where I found a 24/7 lan shop emax. Rather uneventful on the way there, except 2 Indian guys followed me from Hereen up to emax, whereupon they whistled at me, then went down the lift. 1.20am found me seated at a computer, had to pay $3.50 for an hour, since they were closing at 2.

From 2-6am .. maybe I'd just mil around downstairs or something. Anyway, some guardian angel must have been watching over me. Logging onto GE, I told the guys I was at emax, then asked if anyone could spare a place for me to sleep. Heck, I figured I'd just be thick skinned and ask since I really was falling asleep at that point. Titan offered to come over and pick me up, I said ok since I knew him, not that well, but enough to know he's a decent sorta guy.

By that time it was 2 plus in the morning, he paid for the cab to his place, handed me a towel and clothes to "bath so I could have a good rest". Had a bit of a talk, he asked me to tell him if anything was wrong, I briefly told him stuff, and he gave me advice like "Home is still the best place" since he was a guo lai ren. Crashed after that .. 3.30am I think, was afraid of falling asleep coz I might wake late, and since he had work I didn't want to inconvenient him further, but in the end I did sleep, woke at 7.30am thanks to my hp alarm, and left his place at 8 plus after he'd woken and let me out of the house.

Asked directions to the nearest mrt station, one very kind old lady told me in Hokkien which way it was. Reached home at 9.30am, then played GE for a while and slept again, woke at night =x

Anyways, thinking back, I was very lucky yesterday. I could have really been walking the streets til morning, robbed, or worse, raped ><

For a time I thought my faith it must be hiding
Searching through the sky
Hoping to find a way, a way
To get me through the day
Wonder where I belong
Is this where I should stay

Chorus:
You lift me up when I am falling
You're my friend when I was calling
Now I'm on top of the world, top of the whole wide world
Yeah your eyes' been believing
In my life for a whole new meaning
Now I'm on top of the world, top of the whole wide world

It's just strange to me
It seems I've forgotten
Now I realize today I'm starting to dream again, again
Was the matter on the wane
I guess we all lose our way now and then

Outside

One more paper to go before I'm done with exams.

Yet strangely, this time round I don't feel any jubilation coming, that all this stress will be gone in a day. I ought to feel relieved, but I don't. Instead there's just this emptyness inside me, void of emotions. Maybe I'm going philosophical, but I doubt it.

Maybe I'm drained after this round of papers. I don't know. I ought to be celebrating that I can powerlevel my mboma and claude after this. Heck, I should be running screaming round the house.

So totally out of it ..


I need chocs. And a hug. And a man. Bad.

*clears the cobwebs away with a broom*

Heya people, have been really slack lately in updating my blog ..

Nothing much, just been revising for oncoming exams. But before that, I just want to say 2 things:

1) I don't cry to get sympathy.
2) Its finally over.

Celebrated Faizah's b-day on Tues on advance (actual is 17 Aug, same as my sis), our group of girls and guys were there, except for Bo Song, who overslept I think. Was worried that she may not want to turn up, but luckily cover wasn't blown hoho. Soft chocolate cake from Pine Garden was scrumptious .. We got her a pair of Havannas (sp) from NewUrbanMale .. actually Clara bought it so we all chipped in. Glad that she enjoyed it ..

I think we're just going with Pizza Hut for my sis .. GST go up, so can't go restaurant le haha

Revision is a chore. No GE for 2 days 2 hrs is a BORE. God, I nearly died. So was on Forums making my presence known lol. I don't like Essme.

My Guide is coming along fine, I'm going to run through the maps to check my coordinates again when server is up in .. 2 hrs! Woot! Hope they don't extend it -_-

Ciao for now ..

Song on front page - I've been listening to this on repeat for like the past 2 days .. haiz .. dilemma sucks ..

Faction Meeting

Wednesday:

Met Ximen and Emer at Dhoby Ghaut at 6pm, so they could bring me to the Parklane LAN shop. They were nice people overall, except they smoked. Turns out I made a fuss out of nothing at all, we walked a pretty straightforward path to Connection o2 at lvl 2. And I was asking Tunes how to go there lol. Then we de siao Titan and said Tunes was bringing me haha.

Reached at 6.30pm, I met xiaoger, Kinki, PaChi, Titan, Tunes (they both came as I was leaving) and some others who names I forgot at the LAN shop. Pretty united Faction we have. Went for dinner at 8.20pm with Kinki, Ximen and Emer, I got wanton mee and ice milo. Because it was Roland's wedding on that day, so some of them came late.

Enjoyed myself, Tunes wasn't happy that I was leaving at 10pm. But, I told them I had a presentation the next day, so they let me leave, not before them saying it was still early, and Tunes asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get lost on the way back lol.

Got home at 11 plus, Mum was worried, but I told her it was nothing. Crashed straight away.

Thursday:

Presentation went well, gotta love the humour and creativity in everyone's skits, Kannan loved it. Laughs all around =) And this time Robin remembered to wear formal.

Friday:

Was late for our final lesson for Business Communication by 15 mins today, but oh well. Kannan handed us ice cream sticks, one each, I chose purple. Then, she told us that she'd enjoyed these 16 weeks of teaching us, that we were a very positive, hardworking class. After that, she told us about goals, to think big, and asked us to write down our major goal in life on one side of the ice cream stick.

I wrote: To be successful in life and love.

My friends wrote different things, like good careers, earn xxx by xx age, and so on. After that, she told us to write this on the other side of the stick: I have greatness in me. We were to repeat this mantra to ourselves daily, because, as she said, we had the potential to do great things. Bid a sad farewell to her, as we left the class. Liked her lesson the best among my modules .. ah well, we can talk to her on msn so its not too bad lol.

Sch wise, integrating ECPJ today. I swear I give up trying to call from database. Errors and more errors. Uggh. I was spending the night debugging, and swearing at my laptop.

GE wise, first they said server maintanence til 4pm yesterday. Then, they changed it to 6pm. Then, they extended it to 12 noon today, but they would give us 2x exp as a sweetener til Monday, 10am, when they reset it back to normal rates. I waited like !@#$% for it til 6pm, got fed up and went on Forums instead. Bit of a furore on Forums, people saying how its going to make lvl100 pros look dumb. But can you imagine, if it was a 2x drop rate, then those bloody botters would be farming like mad, resulting in a market inflation, or fluctuation. As it is they are already ruining things for us, they appear all over the map, and IAH GAMES STAFF DON'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT THE BOTTERS. WE JUST KEEP SENDING TICKETS AND THEY KEEP IGNORING US. NOTHING SUBSTANTIAL DONE TO BAN THEM COMPLETELY.

That said, I doubt I'd be taking much advantage of the 2x exp, since I'm making a guide on Ferrucio's Boxes, with coordinates and locations. Wish me luck =)